Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Frustrations and Commitments

I've been struggling a lot lately with frustration about my current situation.

I am employed full-time at a biotech company. I've worked in biotech for more than ten years now, and it hasn't been a bad journey. But last summer I felt the need to do something different, and began to pursue a career in editing.

These jobs are very different. I currently do both, fitting editing (which is freelance) in around my biotech career (which happens during normal business hours). It hasn't always been easy, but so far I've managed okay.

My plan is to continue to work in biotech until I've made a livable wage from editing for at least six months, to ensure I won't immediately fail and have to go right back to what I've been doing. This necessitates a long timeline, since I'm only starting and have yet to reach anything like a livable wage.

However, I love editing, and lately that career is really going well. I have new clients, exciting work, excellent business relationships, and a great deal of hope regarding the future.

Biotech, meanwhile, feels old, dull, and tedious. Complex tasks that used to excite me now befuddle me, and every day feels like drudgery. Little annoyances blossom into major setbacks. My routine work has gotten sloppy. I don't feel like I belong there anymore.

But I know my plan is sound, and I need to stick with it to mitigate the risks I face. Were I to leave my current job now, I'd be unable to pay all of my bills in as little as two months without securing additional income. I'd likely end up right back at the biotech firm, with far less credibility for having left.

So I keep at the day job, as much as I may dislike it. I try not to daydream about what it will be like when I am editing full time, because I know I'm glossing over all the bad stuff. But I have to say, at this point, I welcome the challenges and anxiously await facing them.