Monday, December 17, 2012

It's All Just Too Much!

One issue I've been struggling with lately is the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Although I'm hoping to edit full time at some point, that point has not yet arrived, so I still work full time for a biotech company. In addition, I have ongoing editing projects and I'm enrolled in a four-class copyediting certification course through the University of California San Diego. This amounts to somewhere in the neighborhood of eighty hours of work per week. This is not something I'm used to.

I've been trying to remind myself that it won't always be like this, but it's tough. My business plan includes making a livable income from editing for at least six months before quitting biotech, so at the absolute best I'll still be doing this until the summer. Since I haven't yet even achieved a livable income, that's an unlikely scenario. It's exhausting thinking about spending this sort of energy indefinitely.

I've forgotten what it feels like to be bored. Every "free" moment I have is taken up by some sort of work. Even once I'm done with my 9-5, editing, classwork, blogging, and job hunting, there are still chores to be done and errands to be run. I spend lunch breaks at my desk preparing articles for magazine publication. I cram homework in between dinnertime and bedtime. Three free minutes? That's enough to send an email.

I know it will get better eventually and I try to remind myself that everyone goes through something like this when they're starting out. But every time I have to turn down an invitation to lunch or dinner, every time I realize I'm about to miss a deadline and end up rushing (and, of course, feeling I haven't done my best work), I cringe. I hope one day not to have to schedule every activity of my life to make sure it all gets done, but I don't have much hope that's going to happen anytime soon.

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